It Finally Happened

For the past few weeks, Tucker wakes me up at 6:30 in the morning. If he tries waking up earlier, I don't let him out of his bassinet until the previously mentioned time. I'm trying to set his internal clock so it gets easier when we (potentially) put him in the nursery. In three weeks and two days, Tucker will be three months and could ready to go to the crib. I like having him close so that I can put his pacifier back in his mouth when he's a bit fussy and so I can feed him. I can't comprehend the idea of sending Tucker to his own room even at three months. Some parents have the babies in a separate room from the very start. Tucker spits out his binky ever five seconds and wants somebody to put it back in...so I don't even know how that'd be possible with him.

Anyway, we're up with the sun. Tucker gives me lots of smiles and coos at anything that looks fascinating. Our first stop is to the nursery, where he gets his nighttime diaper changed and we dress him in his outfit for the day. After that, we go out to the living room (where his swing and blanket are) and feed him. Then it's tummy time! After he's had his fill of tummy time, I'll put him on his back and we'll smile together for about fifteen minutes. Sometimes I luck out and he's awake for half an hour. Once he gets fussy or his eyelids start turning red (yeah, my baby's color coded), I wrap him up in a warm blanket and put him down for a nap. Altogether, he is awake for about an hour.

By 7:30 he's down for his first nap of the day and stays asleep most of the morning, only waking up to feed every two to four hours. During the short duration of feeding, he's often irritable and wants nothing more than to drink his fill then go back to sleep, which he does.

My kid loves the afternoons. He truly wakes up at 2:00 and gives me smiles and attention again. This is when I plan our outings. Whether it's sitting on the grass outside our apartment, going to the library or (in most cases) going to the park with David and Zeeke, I try to give Tucker as much fresh air and stimulation as possible. (Yes I put on sunscreen. No my child hasn't had a burn yet...or even a tan.)

We get home around five or six and he's ready for another nap. For the past week, Tucker's always fussy for his second afternoon nap, but eventually goes down. He'll wake up around seven or eight, but not for too long. His eyelids will change to red again and we'll give him bath time. He hardly ever has a problem in the bath water. Tucker probably loves it so much because I jump in the tub with him. After I bathe him, David (if he's home) will take Tucker from the tub and dry him off, lotion and clothe him in the nursery. If I haven't showered for the day (which is most likely the case) I'll take a quick bath then go to the bedroom.

At 7:30 or 8:30, Tucker's brought to the room. I'll stuff him in a swaddle me (basically a blanket with Velcro so he can't wriggle out), then feed him until he's done. Sometimes he goes a full twenty minutes because he's so drowsy. I was told not to suckle him to sleep, so I cheat. When he starts getting drowsy, I stick his binky into his mouth and let him use that. It's probably just as bad and habit forming, but the binky is portable and goes with him in his bassinet. I'll have Tucker lay in feeding position for ten to twenty minutes after we're done and let him suck his binky until he's asleep. Once he's 100% knocked out, I gently transfer him to his bassinet and go to sleep. He's ALWAYS out by 9:30 at night. After that, I wake up every 2-6 hours at night to feed him, then he falls back to sleep within ten minutes after every feeding.

All of my feedings are on demand, so I can only offer a rough sketch of my day..since eating is a huge part of his life. I left out diaper changes because those are also pretty on demand.

Today is special enough to write about because of what happened at the end of today. Normally, I put Tucker in his swing and turn it on so he can nap. Around 7:50, without the swing even on, Tucker put himself to sleep. While I was doing homework he just conked out and stayed asleep for ten full minutes. I'm incredibly happy that we've reached that stage.

Here are some of the outings.

Zeeke, Tucker and I went for a stroll through BYU Idaho's gardens while David was in class. It's a good thing we did it, because it got windy after that and storm clouds blew in. 

Here's Tucker 'sun bathing' on the grass right outside our apartment. He stayed awake for half an hour just to be outside. David put a lawn chair on our patio (since it's bordered by the grass) and sipped some soda in his PJs at 4 pm. I was also in my PJs...and I'm pretty sure we're the trailer trash of our apartment complex. I mean come on, our kid is laying under an umbrella in footie pajamas.

We also visited Tucker's best friend in the making, Joshua! Berhane and Joseph Kaluba are the proud parents of this little sucker. They're both marvelously big boys and will know each other for at least the first four years of life, since David and Joseph still have to get their degrees from here before they can escape.

The Point of Predictability

During the first few days I begged people to know when anything got better. I wanted to know when breast feeding wouldn't hurt, when my mastitis would cure up, when my kid would sleep more and when I wouldn't feel so hassled by life.

My answer is at six weeks. After 1,008 hours is when the groove finally clicked for me. It's week seven. I wanted to make sure I wasn't talking too early about everything falling into place, but it has. I was told that my baby can't make associations before two to three months old. People assured me I would have to walk around and carry a screaming infant for several hours before he calmed down. My biggest worry was that Tucker would cry for no reason.

There's always been a reason.

Clearly, all kids are individuals. Here's the truths that work for Tucker. He has never cried for no reason. It's always been because of discomfort. My baby doesn't like being unhappy, he doesn't thrive on chaos like other hellish newborns. Like his father, Tucker is a complacent baby that wants his needs tended to. He'll only utter an ear-splitting cry once a week, if that. I've only ever heard it right before bedtime.

Here's how I've adapted to control Tucker's chaos.

A friend of mine pointed out that everything I do with Tucker is a pattern. I play a game where I touch parts of Tucker's body and say, "I got your..." ears, hair, knees, feet, hands...I do three body parts. Then to finish I excitedly exclaim, "I got your nooooose!" To which he knows it's time to giggle and throw out his biggest, happiest smile. Another way to make him smile is to make fart noises - which is far easier and less complex to explain to people that want to make him smile.

Even Tucker's days are a pattern. He will wake up from seven to nine. Regardless, I'll feed him, keep him awake for half an hour to an hour, then allow him to fall asleep for his first nap. This repeats for two more naps before the day is through. For weeks five and six, David and I gave Tucker a nightly bath and big feeding before bed. The bath started at 8:30 so he was in bed at 9:00. At week seven he's demanding bath time at 7:00 so he can be in bed at 7:30.

Being in bed was a LOT of trial and error. I would give him a big feeding and place him in a bassinet beside the bed. Tucker would be asleep for a moment, then just switch to drowsy. For half an hour after, he would demand I put the pacifier in his mouth and let him suck on it. The job was tedious...because Tucker couldn't hold the pacifier for more than thirty seconds for the first three weeks of his life. At week four it dropped to twenty five minutes; week five was twenty; then week six dropped to ten.

David had the idea of introducing white noise. I brought in the floor fan and turned it on. The ten minutes after a feeding where I had to keep putting the pacifier in Tucker's mouth dropped to five. In fact, I haven't had to put the binky in his mouth every time. Sometimes I put him in the bassinet and he stays asleep.

So for Tucker - here's what works. White noise and a bassinet for sleep. Play time and naps during the day. Keep them awake as often as possible.