Thursday, May 8, 2014

The Point of Predictability

During the first few days I begged people to know when anything got better. I wanted to know when breast feeding wouldn't hurt, when my mastitis would cure up, when my kid would sleep more and when I wouldn't feel so hassled by life.

My answer is at six weeks. After 1,008 hours is when the groove finally clicked for me. It's week seven. I wanted to make sure I wasn't talking too early about everything falling into place, but it has. I was told that my baby can't make associations before two to three months old. People assured me I would have to walk around and carry a screaming infant for several hours before he calmed down. My biggest worry was that Tucker would cry for no reason.

There's always been a reason.

Clearly, all kids are individuals. Here's the truths that work for Tucker. He has never cried for no reason. It's always been because of discomfort. My baby doesn't like being unhappy, he doesn't thrive on chaos like other hellish newborns. Like his father, Tucker is a complacent baby that wants his needs tended to. He'll only utter an ear-splitting cry once a week, if that. I've only ever heard it right before bedtime.

Here's how I've adapted to control Tucker's chaos.

A friend of mine pointed out that everything I do with Tucker is a pattern. I play a game where I touch parts of Tucker's body and say, "I got your..." ears, hair, knees, feet, hands...I do three body parts. Then to finish I excitedly exclaim, "I got your nooooose!" To which he knows it's time to giggle and throw out his biggest, happiest smile. Another way to make him smile is to make fart noises - which is far easier and less complex to explain to people that want to make him smile.

Even Tucker's days are a pattern. He will wake up from seven to nine. Regardless, I'll feed him, keep him awake for half an hour to an hour, then allow him to fall asleep for his first nap. This repeats for two more naps before the day is through. For weeks five and six, David and I gave Tucker a nightly bath and big feeding before bed. The bath started at 8:30 so he was in bed at 9:00. At week seven he's demanding bath time at 7:00 so he can be in bed at 7:30.

Being in bed was a LOT of trial and error. I would give him a big feeding and place him in a bassinet beside the bed. Tucker would be asleep for a moment, then just switch to drowsy. For half an hour after, he would demand I put the pacifier in his mouth and let him suck on it. The job was tedious...because Tucker couldn't hold the pacifier for more than thirty seconds for the first three weeks of his life. At week four it dropped to twenty five minutes; week five was twenty; then week six dropped to ten.

David had the idea of introducing white noise. I brought in the floor fan and turned it on. The ten minutes after a feeding where I had to keep putting the pacifier in Tucker's mouth dropped to five. In fact, I haven't had to put the binky in his mouth every time. Sometimes I put him in the bassinet and he stays asleep.

So for Tucker - here's what works. White noise and a bassinet for sleep. Play time and naps during the day. Keep them awake as often as possible.

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