Ferberizing

To those non parents reading this blog, Ferber is known as the "cry it out" approach to parenting. Only that's not entirely what he teaches. His approach is a 3-5 day sort of deal. You start out on day one putting your child in the room and giving them the opportunity to put themselves to sleep. After so many minutes, you go back in and soothe the baby, not removing him from the crib. You can talk to him, pat his back, etc. After two minutes (tops) you leave and leave your baby and brace for the tears.

Since Tucker's room is right beside the laundry room, I did a lot of laundry so I wouldn't have to grit my teeth through the tears. Why did I Ferberize my kid, if I didn't like hearing him cry? Up until this point, he has been in a swing beside my usual spot in the living room. He slept great until June 3rd, when David and I got back from our sealing (temple marriage) and baby blessing weekend.

Something just...changed. According to the book "The Sleep Lady", by Kim West, once babies get from 10-12 weeks old, they simply can't sleep in a swing anymore. The constant motion doesn't allow them to go any further than REM sleep. It was true. Every time I adjusted my posture and our leather couch made even the slightest sound, Tucker would snap back awake. If I wanted the TV on, it had to be quiet and on all day. As soon as I would turn it off, he woke up. As soon as I turned it up, he woke up. It was a mess. If I had to get up to get a drink, he woke up. If his binky fell out of his mouth, he woke up. If the dog moved...you get the picture.

June 6th was when I began. I started him at 2:30 pm. That's when I had enough. He cried straight up until 3:35. I switched him to lay on his stomach and he was asleep at 3:45. He woke up at 4:20 and I decided that was a decent start. I kept going in every ten minutes to soothe him, but he didn't care I was there. So I just wiped the tears from his little eyes. It gradually got better and better from there.

On June 8th, the third day, Ferber says that babies should be sleeping very well. Not so, my man! Some naps he'd be fine and go to sleep within forty five minutes. One time, he cried for two hours straight. I begin the naps with a feeding and end the naps with a diaper change then another feeding. He was so tired that we'd put him to bed every night at 8:30 pm and he wouldn't wake up until 8 am. He normally only ate two to three times during these nights too! Day four was no better.

Finally, day five, (June 10th) Tucker put himself to sleep within twenty minutes, during every nap! It's still a work in progress, but at least we've made definitive progress. The next step is to get Tucker out of our bedroom. He naps in his crib, but spends the nights cuddled up in a sleep sack in a bassinet within reach of the bedroom. At night, he also gets his pacifier. During naps, I don't even take his pacifier to the crib.

In other news, we bought Tucker a baby bouncer/jumper! One of those toys where he can stand up and bounce to work on his leg muscles. We're a bit early, since he can't sit up on his own yet, but it's nice to have. For now, he sits in his super seat. David or I will sit with him and try to put his hands on all the toys. He smiles, then tries to shove his entire fist in his mouth.

So here's the update in a nut shell. Tucker can put himself to sleep for nap time without a binky, he's trying to suck his fingers and he stays awake for two to three hours at a time now.