Negligent Parenting

I looked at my page views by country today. Understandably, people from the States are looking. But the other countries baffle me.

United States	121
Russia	9
France	1
Ukraine	1

Why does Russia keep coming back? I have no idea.

Anyway! I thought I'd do an update on Tucker's sleeping. Tucker is in his own room and I'm loving every second of it. I no longer give him his pacifier to fall asleep. If I give it to him once, he screeches and wails until I give it to him again. For over half an hour. If I don't give it to him, he falls asleep within ten minutes. We have him sleeping with the window closed, so he doesn't hear the craziness of the outside world, but the fan on, so he doesn't hear the craziness of the neighbors above us dancing around on creaking floors.

 Look at this handsome boy! He has my                                                                                                        lips and chin, but everything else is pure                                                                                                        David. 

Tucker takes three to four naps a day. He falls asleep at 8 pm and will stay asleep until 8 or 9 am, with various night time feedings. Twelve to thirteen hours far exceeds what he did before, which was 8:30 pm to 6:30 am. Ten hours seems like it was forever ago.

The only problem with this new situation is me. I don't wake up as well as I think I do. David claims that half the time he's been prodding me awake. There are times when I'll snap right up and instantly go to Tucker's crib to feed him. At other moments, I'm sluggish and David says I've let him cry fifteen minutes at a time. My poor kid. I guess it's time to hook up the baby monitor.

My recommendation to new moms? Ferberize your two and a half month olds. I miss my darling Tucker in the bedroom, but know this is going to save us in the long room. Oh, and DON'T EVER BUY BLACK OUT CURTAINS! Fellow mothers have said that their baby won't nap without black out curtains...which sucks for traveling, since not everyone has a space that's pitch black for your baby to nap in.

I used to work at Baker's Dozen in Idaho Falls. If you haven't been there, GO! They're the best doughnuts in town! My boss's daughter loves babies, but never had the opportunity to be around one so young. I whipped out my mammoth of an infant (who is weighing at least eighteen pounds) and plopped him in her arms. My boss was in the office with her daughter and they kept trying to get Tuck to look at them. He just kept staring at me. So I did the only thing that made sense. I left my baby with them and went to go sweep the bakery. Jill (my old boss) was astonished at how calm Tucker was. As were her son, daughter and Randy (her husband). Each went back and saw Tucker in turns. He didn't have his pacifier or anything. He just smiled and 'flirted' with the girls while gawking at Randy's mustache.

I got sick of Tucker constantly feeling like he needed his binky. He used to not go to sleep without it. I have his binky banned from his car seat and crib. He only gets it when he's truly inconsolable and has cried for at least five minutes. I see binkies as something that Tucker, as an individual, doesn't really need anymore. As long as I'm giving him attention, he's happy to take it. His binky gets in the way of him making happy noises, smiling and laughing. I'd rather dance or sing with him and give him attention than stick a hunk of rubber in his mug. But that's what works for me. In some ways, I'm a pretty negligent parent. In other ways, I hold and love on that sucker for hours upon hours at a time. 

The B's

David pointed out to me that Tucker won't go to sleep without his B's.

The binky, boobies, boppy and bassinet. Without these tools, we can't get Tucker to sleep during the night. When he was a month old and below, we would put Tucker to sleep at nine pm every night. At two months he moved that time up to eight thirty at night. Both times, he would wake up to feed, but wouldn't truly wake up until six thirty am. In recent days, Tucker has been getting sleepy at 7:30 pm and not wanting to wake up until 7 or 7:30 am. We're now moving bath time up to 7:30 and seeing positive changes. He still wakes up to feed in the middle of the night, but it's not so bad. Next up, we're going to try to move Tucker to his crib at night, since that's the deal I gave David.

He puts himself to sleep without a binky at nap time (which is in his crib), but it often takes about ten to fifteen minutes of crying for that to work. My neighbors are probably going to hate me.

Tucker started out as a hefty newborn of 8 pounds, 3 ounces. He had a squished face and a nose triple the size of what belonged on that tiny little face.Now look at my crazy ginger boy! He's a tummy time pro and loves to smile and show off.

The poor kid is stuck with us forever.

Apartment Follow-up

We're pretty much all unpacked from moving now. We have a few things here and there that need stowed away and I still need a dresser, but it's nice to be done! Excited to live in a 'dump', we planned on getting Direct TV. Let's be honest, the property isn't that pretty - we could put a dish up! There's even one on the manager's office. Sadly, dishes are not permitted in this less than picturesque apartment complex. Cable was a briefly considered option, but that would cost over $60 a month. We're here to save money, not spend it all on entertainment. So we went for one of the oldest methods of this century. Netflix will be snail-mailing us two disks of movies/television series once we ask for them.

Our complex is not pet friendly. I'm not saying that because they have a 'no pets' rule, but rather because Zeeke has been having allergic reactions to our new home. First his right lip was swollen. I thought it was because of a domestic dispute between him and my brother's retriever, Callie. 

Putting that aside for a moment. 

Zeeke went to the vet for his annual check up. Our vet came through the door. He looked like a nice man that just wanted to get the job done. Zeeke promptly hid under my chair and snarled viciously at the veterinarian. I was completely stunned. I asked the guy if it happened often. He sighed and admitted that his job was a pretty thankless one, in the ways of patient appreciation. He lured Zeeke to his side with treats. As soon as the stethoscope came out, Zeeke growled at the vet again and even snapped at the air. My terrible dog came running back to hide in his new 'cave' under my legs. The female vet-tech came in the room. Zeeke greeted her happily and nuzzled her like she was his best friend in the world. I guess my dog is just sexist now. They lifted Zeeke up and held him on a table for his vaccinations. As soon as the first needle grazed his skin, Zeeke leaped toward Tucker and me - clear off the table. Thinking fast, the vet-tech grabbed Zeeke's scruff and redirected his momentum (so basically she chucked him) into a corner. At once, she and the vet cornered Zeeke and proceeded to stab him. It wasn't vicious, but you would've thought Zeeke was getting his claws ripped out one-by-one. He was, by far, the loudest thing I heard that day - including the train, ambulance sirens and the symphony of car horns that comes with living in Rexburg. Once he was done getting his shots, Zeeke bolted out of the door. If I didn't have a leash on him, I wouldn't be writing this article. My dumb dog probably would've run all around town and David would've made me find him. 

We got home. Within half an hour, I notice something looks wrong with my dog. Remember how before he had swelling on his lip?

You don't have to be an expert to see his eyes are twice the size as any dog should have. It turns out...Zeeke is allergic to our apartment! His diet has stayed entirely the same. I called the vet and he confirmed it - since we had just checked Zeeke's vitals hours before.

Tucker's adjusted well. He loves his swing, is napping without his binky and is an overall good kid. He wants to go to bed earlier and earlier and wakes up later and later. He's hit a major growth spurt, since he's feeding twice as much as normal. 

Boxes Packed

Ever since mid May, David and I got into government subsidized housing. We bypassed the wait list of over 30 couples by saying we could move in right away, as opposed of waiting until December. For some reason, moving in the midst of a Rexburg winter didn't appeal to me in the slightest. So we signed the contract and just kept our new apartment on hold. We stayed at our old apartment. After several weeks of trying to find an opening, David finally got scheduled a weekend off and we were able to move.

During our last move, we had around ten eager and willing helpers. This time we had five, though only four were there at a time. We are grateful for every person. Out of our men, only Joseph Kaluba was lacking an injury. My brother, Shawn, has a bad knee. My dad has a bad back. David has a bad shoulder. The last helper was my mom. She stayed and helped me put pictures up and organize a bit. It's still a work in progress, but it's not too far away from being done.

Back in our bigger apartment, we had two couches, a love seat and a rocking chair all comfortably situated throughout the home. In this new one, we have a couch, chair and rocking chair. I love the downsizing, but David's scared of what might happen if we get company. Somebody, heaven forbid, might have to sit on the floor! So if you're in the neighborhood and want to stop by, people...be ready to feel squished.

Within five hours living here, we received one harsh note on our car. We have a parking pass...we just forgot to move it forward. We are assigned two parking stalls, since one of them is quite difficult to maneuver out of, should there be a visitor parked behind us. The note says, "Just for future referrence this is a resident Parking Stall and belongs to someone, you are allowed to Park any where labelled "visitor"." The spelling mistakes and random capitalization aside... David and I want to know who put the note there. Our neighbor told us that somebody likes to use our parking space for 'loading and unloading their vehicle'.

The first thing I said to David was, "I don't want to make trouble in this ward." In our old ward, I got in a verbal argument with somebody's mother over visiting teaching. Because I'm a bad person like that. Well...five hours in and here's my plan. I want to tape the note on the wall and label it our welcome to the neighborhood present. Then I want to invite every couple over possible and wait for the ones that keep awkwardly staring at the note. I want to know who wrote it, darn it! It's good to know that our spots are being protected by a resident with a sharpie and bits of scrap paper, though. I would be pretty pissy to come home and find somebody had parked in my spot for real.

As for Tucker and Zeeke, they don't like the new place. Tucker wouldn't nap and would much rather spend the day with Joseph, Joshua and Berhane Kaluba. He was happier there and started crying as soon as we put him in his car seat. Zeeke keeps trying to hop in the car in the hopes that we'll take him to the old apartment.

Pictures will come at a later time!

Ferberizing

To those non parents reading this blog, Ferber is known as the "cry it out" approach to parenting. Only that's not entirely what he teaches. His approach is a 3-5 day sort of deal. You start out on day one putting your child in the room and giving them the opportunity to put themselves to sleep. After so many minutes, you go back in and soothe the baby, not removing him from the crib. You can talk to him, pat his back, etc. After two minutes (tops) you leave and leave your baby and brace for the tears.

Since Tucker's room is right beside the laundry room, I did a lot of laundry so I wouldn't have to grit my teeth through the tears. Why did I Ferberize my kid, if I didn't like hearing him cry? Up until this point, he has been in a swing beside my usual spot in the living room. He slept great until June 3rd, when David and I got back from our sealing (temple marriage) and baby blessing weekend.

Something just...changed. According to the book "The Sleep Lady", by Kim West, once babies get from 10-12 weeks old, they simply can't sleep in a swing anymore. The constant motion doesn't allow them to go any further than REM sleep. It was true. Every time I adjusted my posture and our leather couch made even the slightest sound, Tucker would snap back awake. If I wanted the TV on, it had to be quiet and on all day. As soon as I would turn it off, he woke up. As soon as I turned it up, he woke up. It was a mess. If I had to get up to get a drink, he woke up. If his binky fell out of his mouth, he woke up. If the dog moved...you get the picture.

June 6th was when I began. I started him at 2:30 pm. That's when I had enough. He cried straight up until 3:35. I switched him to lay on his stomach and he was asleep at 3:45. He woke up at 4:20 and I decided that was a decent start. I kept going in every ten minutes to soothe him, but he didn't care I was there. So I just wiped the tears from his little eyes. It gradually got better and better from there.

On June 8th, the third day, Ferber says that babies should be sleeping very well. Not so, my man! Some naps he'd be fine and go to sleep within forty five minutes. One time, he cried for two hours straight. I begin the naps with a feeding and end the naps with a diaper change then another feeding. He was so tired that we'd put him to bed every night at 8:30 pm and he wouldn't wake up until 8 am. He normally only ate two to three times during these nights too! Day four was no better.

Finally, day five, (June 10th) Tucker put himself to sleep within twenty minutes, during every nap! It's still a work in progress, but at least we've made definitive progress. The next step is to get Tucker out of our bedroom. He naps in his crib, but spends the nights cuddled up in a sleep sack in a bassinet within reach of the bedroom. At night, he also gets his pacifier. During naps, I don't even take his pacifier to the crib.

In other news, we bought Tucker a baby bouncer/jumper! One of those toys where he can stand up and bounce to work on his leg muscles. We're a bit early, since he can't sit up on his own yet, but it's nice to have. For now, he sits in his super seat. David or I will sit with him and try to put his hands on all the toys. He smiles, then tries to shove his entire fist in his mouth.

So here's the update in a nut shell. Tucker can put himself to sleep for nap time without a binky, he's trying to suck his fingers and he stays awake for two to three hours at a time now.